Well just the cream, really.

Then again, I guess the peaches in that song stand for vajayjay, in which case I would actually recommend peaches and sausage. As the Presidents of the United States of America may say, “Millions of peaches, peaches for me…”

Anyway, the few things I would like to say about using whipped cream in your sexual adventures are:

1. Go light. And, yes, this is advice that I (a) have heard in magazines a trillion times, and (b) unfortunately could not follow because I didn’t plan ahead. I got it on the fly, which is way more fun and exciting.  But don’t tell him about it– sometimes the “I’ve got a surprise for you…” isn’t nearly as exciting as just whipping out the whipped topping! And if he’s like most lovermen,  he loves food almost as much as (or definitely as much as… hey maybe sometimes more than) pussy. Anyway– I digress. Get light, and

2. Go lighter. Put way less on yourself than you want to. I just felt like he was eating a whole meal and forgot my nipple was even under there. Ha jk but, it was VERY nice to

3. Put it on his penis! It isn’t just for you! Now, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE the taste of good old fashioned hard cock. But even though I love to eat a corndawg by itself, why not put a little ketchup and mustard on it to spice it up? It really does make you want to lick it and suck it clean. You’re gettin’ in there at all angles like a fuckin’ porn star.  Delicious.

4. And speaking of clean, try to do this at a time that you can have a nice sensual shower afterwards. His beard smells like he ate an entire “Gotta Have It” Coldstone without hands right now, and I’m stickier than when I let him finish on my chest. No one could do this much damage.

I’m excited for you to tell him “dessert’s on me” ;p